Shadi.com

Note: The below blog is purely written in light humor. No offense is intended to anyone. And in case some of you get alarmed reading it, please understand that some portions have been tweaked or exaggerated to suit the theme. But otherwise, I’ve tried to stay loyal to the original plot.

It all started when most of my friends got married one after the other. It was enough to set the alarm bells ringing for my parents and a steep rise in their B.P. and blood sugar levels was noticed.  I had even started lying to my mother about my friend’s marital status and ending up missing their much awaited marriage invitations in return.

After being pestered a lot by my mom to create a profile in the matrimonial sites for many days I gave in. Not because I wanted to see my mother happy but I had nothing else to do one US support night where there was not much of work to do and I had to stay awake till 6AM in the morning! Yawwwnn..

None of my friends were online and I was bored listening to music and refreshing the SYSAID to check for new tickets. Yes, there was one more reason, the vital one indeed. I wanted to get married. I am tired of paying for all my expenses myself. What? It was a joke!! Have you guys lost it?!!:D :D

OK..thats how it started..and it was enough to keep me awake for the next few days!!

After creating my profile, I saved my search criteria as well…and Lo! 5457 matches! WTF(wow that’s fantastic J)!!..it cant be serious! No wonder the female ratio in India was lower than that of male…The feminist in me sighed...

I started scanning the profiles..good looking..not so much…pathetic…cute..so-so.…with mustache…dimpled…geeky....NRIs…self employeds..loads-of-degrees…preferred matches…mutual matches….Ugh!!

I scrolled down the list scanning the profiles and then scrolled up. Oh…hmm…Cute...was my first thoughts when I re-checked a profile highlighted in green by the site. A preferred match. I don’t know what the logic behind it is but I want to really thank the person who has written this code. :D Oh!The horoscopes match 74%! Thank you so much Lord!  :P Haan Haan…I know…I don’t believe in them…c’mon there can be exceptions too.. :D :P.

Ok..so my first ever  conversation starts..with Mr. PM(Preferred Match). After an initial hi-hello he asked, “After going through my profile, do you have any questions “?

Yes! Will you marry me? I wanted to reply but controlled myself. :D :D

“ What are your expectations from a guy?”

”Oh yes..he should be…err..well”..

Damn, I should have done some preparations at least. I quickly scanned through his profile again for help!

Well , though eventually things didn’t work out with Mr PM , yet I managed to gain a lot of useful tips and tricks of Dos and Don’ts in matrimonial. *Sob sob* (Did anyone say it’s hard to forget your first.… :P)

Next someone asked me, ”I shall ask you a question and if you don’t feel like answering you can say PASS and then vice-versa”. What!!!

Or like. “Who do you think is the role model in your life and why?” Is someone considering himself as  some beauty pageant judge? :P :P

Ok...So moving on...My cell phone continues to beep with the members interested in my profile. And here are some hilarious profiles which really drove me into fits of laughter..

Profile#1(partner preference):

She should be well educated and also career oriented professional i.e. homely and yet outgoing and at the same time a good friend and also a good wife. She should have no greed for money and should love me and me.

No greed for money ..eh?? whose money?? :D :D

Profile #2:

If baldness is not a problem for you, then I can certify that I am quite a nice person :)

A bald saint..what say?? :P

Profile #3(about himself):

To marriage with Mr XYZl!!!. is a Software developer(Java/ J2EE) and a Software Development and software products and other Business-man!!!Annual profits u may not imagine also!!! If u have any idea about a software company and shopping site do profit in year then u may imagine about profit. And I am not willing to fully disclose it here now, u will be knowing it on our direct discussion time.

Ahaa!! I guess there are no income tax officers around.. :D :D

Profile #4(about himself):

 I am really a very good human being, kind heart person what u cannot find out on others (I am having some special characteristics I think).

Hee..Hee….might be he turns into monkey man at night!! Or Were-Wolf!! Or Vampires!!Gosh!!

Profile#5(partner preference):

 I required a wife whose heart is having already stored full of love for her life-partner and waiting to give her life partner. And after marriage with me , she will give her heart(s) full love to me and will bind me by much more love forever.

Yeeeshhhh…oshlill… :D :D

Yes and the journey still continues. I just pray it doesn’t turn out to be a frustrating one and I meet my “potential suitor” soon. Wish me luck guys!